Dear Montana, you have a lot to live up to. Sincerely, Alaskan grown.

Tonight I drove my brother to the airport at 11:30pm. On my way home I looked around and noticed how beautiful it was outside. It's still light outside. And there were beautiful orange and pinks running across the sky. At that exact moment the song 'Home' by Phillip Phillips came on. Talk about an emotional moment.... 

This place will always be 'home'. The place where I became the person I am. I've lived and learned so much here in 27 short years. And although I still have many more years left to live, and many more chapters to write, it causes an ache in my heart to put a period on this page.

This land of the midnight sun gets under your skin. Works it's way into every part of you. You can't help but love it here. With the wide open spaces. The never ending sun. Even the never ending cold. Because even when the temperature outside is frigid, the snow glistens like diamonds on all the trees. And the yard. And maybe even that broke down vehicle in your neighbors yard next door.

Here is where I've made friends I will have for the rest of my life. Here I go to the grocery store and 9/10 times I run into someone I know. And even if I haven't seen them in a while we stand there in everyone's way and do a little catching up.

Here I found so many different kinds of 'families'. 

My church family: 

Do you know how awesome it is to walk into church every Sunday and feel comfortable? To have numerous people come up to say 'hi' and ask how you are. To learn so much and grow by being around people who's faith, at times, lifts and strengthens your own. I was honored to teach little children. And now it's been a few years and they've gone on and had other teachers, but they still come up and give me hugs. I tell you it makes my day every time! To have these precious little angels, who honestly taught me more than I ever taught them, care for me. That's is not something easily duplicated.

My Mary Kay family:

I was a shy, quiet, self conscious person before Mary Kay found me. And through the love and encouragement of women who were, for a while, strangers to me, I grew into someone else. Someone I'm proud to be for my daughters. My Mary Kay sisters are the best there are. Always there with words of encouragement, applause and the best hugs ever! I shudder to think about the insecure person I use to be. The person I would still be if not for them. They've taught me to dream and to aspire. That's it's ok to want to be more. To achieve more. I'm going to miss seeing their faces every week.

My Crossfit family:

For me, loving a mass group of people is hard to do. But I sure love my CF family. They never let you give up. Never let you give anything but your 110%! They're always smiling when you walk in the door. Genuinely happy to see you. Even if sometimes you blind them with your insanely bright color choices. I went in for a workout, and I left with friends. I'm not just just stronger on the outside....

I've experienced the good, the bad, and the very ugly here. But I wouldn't change it. Because everything made me better, made me stronger. This is a place where if your home is on fire, you can run down the road to a neighbor and they take you in. A place where strangers will stop in the middle of winter and help you change a tire. Or a guy will burn his hand trying to get snow out of your engine after you've gone in the ditch. Alaska is full of such down to earth good people. 

I'm going to miss watching my girls play on my Dads wide open lawn. Running and screaming with joy. Or walking across the street and knowing there's someone to talk to when I'm having a bad day. Or a good day. Or just an in between day. Waking up in the morning on a clear day and being welcomed by the most beautiful mountains I've ever seen. Enjoying the beauty of a plant I can't touch. Even my stupid little house. That I thought I would be happy to leave. But my heart strings tug a little. Nic and I built this home. Us. Together. And now it belongs to someone else.

I love this place. The choice to leave is the right one. God is directing our path and we're staying the course. But even though I'm leaving this place, a piece of my heart will always remain here.

I am grateful

So tomorrow is valentines day. And I bet y'all remember getting little valentines cards from the kids in your class at school. So savannah and I set out to find some valentines. And we couldn't find any of the right kind. A big bummer. So I told savannah we could just make them (34 of them). Her big eyes got so bright and excited! So we found paper, and ribbon and stickers and candy. And she was right there giving her input for it all!
When we got home, I put Evelyn down for her nap and savannah and I spread everything out on the floor and went to work. We colored and addressed every card (savannah wrote her own name on each one of them!), put stickers all over them, tied pretty bows around each tootsie pop and attached them to the cards. Now this entire process probably took 2 1/2 hours. 2 1/2 uninterrupted hours I got to spend with my beautiful girl.
But that's not what brought me to be grateful. As we were sitting there making these cute little valentines, savannah looks at me and says "mom, I'm so glad you get to be home and spend time with me". Talk about an emotional punch. I am so blessed that I can be home with her. And spend hours doing crafts with her. 2 years ago I wouldn't have had time. Because I worked 40 hours a week. I barely saw my child or my husband.
So today, more than any other day, I am grateful for Mary Kay. There are so many wonderful opportunities with this company. I can earn a car, rings, vacations, money, friendships.. Wonderful, amazing things right? But one of the biggest things this company gives me is time. Time with my kids. Time with my husband. In 5 months Nic won't ever have to work overtime again. In 5 years he can be following his dreams instead of sitting in an exhausting job that he keeps because it pays well. No other company could give me that. What other "job" or company would've enabled me to sit on my living room floor at 3 in the afternoon, covered in ink and paper? I get to drop off and pick savannah up from school everyday! And not because I'm on a lunch break. I get to spend each day watching my beautiful girls grow and progress. I get to sleep in bed with my husband every night.
Not only does this company give me time with my family, it has given me a wonderful circle of friends that make me feel so awesome! I have never felt more beautiful or important than I have in the last 14 months. And it's because of this company. I know there is a reason for everything in this life. And I am do grateful the Lord put this company in my path.

Tis the Season

I just have to say that my family and I had a wonderful Holiday Season. I love this time of year because it brings back good memories. I as able to spend time with family. And I really enjoyed watching Evelyn this year. Now that she's 18 months old she really got into ripping the wrapping paper from her gifts. My children are my life and to see they're beautiful little eyes light up with wonder and excitement made my heart swell.
For te first time I was asked to give a talk on Christmas. Scary right? I pondered and agonized for a month on my talk. When it comes to these kinds of things, I tend to put way too much thought into it. I will admit (with hesitance) that I cried through the whole thing. Which for me is thoroughly embarrassing. But I didn't faint or throw up. An achievement for me. :) Anyway I thought I'd post my talk. I hope you enjoy. :)

Xmas Sunday talk

I was actually asked twice to give this talk. Once by bishop Putnam and again by brother wright. And each one have me a different topic. Bishop's topic was "what Christmas means to me" and brother wrights was  "the life of Christ". Instead of asking them which one I should use, I decided I loved them both, and i wanted to combine them.
When I think of Christmas and what today is all about, I always think of Christ. Today is about celebrating the birth of our redeemer. Of our savior. And for me, that's what Christmas is all about.
Growing up my mom always made a big deal out of Christmas. Its her absolute favorite holiday. She'll play Christmas music before thanksgiving is even over. And our Christmas tree, or sometimes 2 trees, was always put up after thanksgiving dinner. Our house would be completely decorated in lights and other things. But there was one, and by far the most important, decoration I remember most. Our nativity set. It was always set up on a cabinet in the dining room. Where everyone could see. And no matter how many times it was broken, mom always glued it back together for the next year.
I have my mom to thank for making Christmas about Jesus Christ. 
For as long a I can remember, my mom has done something called Christmas magic. Each year, among all of our other gifts, was a special one. Each one of us would get the same thing. And with that gift was a scripture. Or a chapter. Whichever she felt inspired to use. Like one year, the scripture was about the stripling warriors. And we each got a pair of camouflage socks. This year the scripture was peter 1:7
"that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth. Though it be tried with fire might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ"
 Ive received many of these special gifts in my life. But theres one that i remember the most. This particular year, the scriptures came out of Matthew chapter 2.
"where is he that is born king of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the east and are come to worship him"
"and when they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy"
And our gift was this beautiful star. When I put it on my tree, I don't think of Santa clause. I don't think ok reindeer or elves or candy canes. I think of my savior. And I am filled with exceeding joy.

There is one song I heard years ago that i fell in love with. Its called "his hands". This song is about christs life and I thought the lyrics would be perfect to add to my talk. I have a few different parts I'd like to read;
"his hands, sermons of kindness, healing men's blindness halting years of pain"
"his hands would serve his whole life through, showing man what hands might do, giving, Ever giving endlessly. Each day was filled with selflessness"
Selflessness.. Jesus Christ was completely selfless. He gave of himself to others even when there were people who thought he shouldn't.
"his hands, lifting a leper, warming a beggar, calling back the dead. Breaking bread, five thousand fed. His hands, hushing contention, pointing to heaven, ever free of sin. Then biding man to follow him"
He spent his life in service of others. The blind man who could suddenly see. How amazing would that be? Or to see your child die, then suddenly have them back. Christ did these things, and he never asked anything in return.
"his hands, clasped in agony as he lay pleading, bleeding in the garden."
"and his hands are trembling. Straining to carry the beam that he'd been nailed to. As he stumbles through the streets, heading towards the hill on which he died."
"he lets them because of love. From birth to death was selflessness" 
Today is about the birth of our Savior. The one and only perfect being there ever was. It's about the birth of the man who spent his time on this earth in the service of his heavenly father and his fellow man.
Today is about the birth of a little boy, who grew up to be the Savior of the world.
In October, a man named Steve jobbs passed away after a long illness. And his final words on earth are what I'd like to close with. Because they're the same words I would use when thinking of christ's life.
He said "oh wow, oh wow, oh wow"
I ask that we all  remember the real reason for today.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I will prevail!!!

I've decided that when good things are going to happen, Satan works hard to derail you. I have set goals in my business that I've been working really hard to achieve. Goals that would propel me higher. But the past month has been trying. Between the virus that ran through my family and now with my back... I'm frustrated that I'm not going to complete my goal and I've only got 6 days left. I just needed to vent.y business has come to mean a great deal to me and it's so hard to work for something and then fall short.

But I would also like to thank some people. On Sunday, I went outside, walked down my porch steps, and fell. I ended up pulling muscles and tendons in my back. And bruising my entire left butt cheek. Funny when you think about it from the outside. However extremely painful on the inside. Lol. But as a result, I haven't been moving all that well. I can't drive or pick up my baby. I've basically been in bed trying to heal. And the only reason I've made it through this week is because of some absolutely wonderful people!
My brother in law and my husband gave me a blessing. And sweet Jamie who helped me change my clothes.
My sister Anna for driving me to the ER. And sitting there trying to make me laugh and take my mind off of the pain.
My sister in law Katy for taking care of my kids. Letting them stay at her house this week. Taking savannah to and from school. And basically just being their mom this week cause I couldn't.
My momma B for spending yesterday at my house to help with the kids (Katy had things to get done). She got the kids up, dressed, fed, savannah to school. She washed my dishes, played with Evelyn and made cookies with savannah. Plus it was just nice to spend a day with her. Spending a week in solitude can get a little lonely. :)
I have wonderful people in my life. And I'm so thankful. My back is healing (slower than I would like). I'll be my old self again soon. And it makes my heart full to know I have these people in my life that I can count on.

As for my goal, I can only pray and believe that the Lord will provide a way for me. I'm doing what I can from where I am. Now it's up to Him.

I'm blessed..

Well today was an interesting day. One I hope not to repeat.
I woke up this morning horribly ill. I was puking, I had diarrhea. I was shaking. My stomach pains were terrible and I developed back pain as well.
And even though I had a horrible day, I learned that I'm blessed.
Nic had to work with a friend today, and obviously I was in no condition to take care of children. So he called his sister and asked her to watch Evelyn. That's blessing #1. I'm so grateful to have a sister in law who is willing to take care of my little girl all day ontop of her own.
Nic left savannah home in hopes that she could help me throughout the day. Now I knew that I had an amazing daughter. But today just proved it even more. She was like a little hovering mother all day. She was always right there bringing me water. She would get me new trash bags after I would puke in one. And at one point I came out of the bathroom to find her washing the kitchen floor. When I asked "why", she turned that beautiful face towards me and said "cause I want to make you feel better". God blessed me with such a wonderful child. Im so grateful for her.
At about 2 today the pain became so severe that I just couldn't do it anymore. So because Nic was where he didn't have service, I called my friend to come take me to the ER. So she came real fast, loaded up me and savannah and drove like a race car driver to the hospital. :) Her husband met us there and the ER wait began. After they took me back , Veronica took savannah to the cafeteria for some food (I hadn't been able to make her lunch). And her husband Jim stayed with me. After they hooked my up to the IV, and gave me some fantastic pain meds, Veronica took savannah to her school (shes a teacher)so she could play and not have to sit in the ER for hours. That's hard to do for a 5 year old. So Jim stayed with me to drive me home.
After sitting there for a few hours, the doc came in and told me I have a gastrointestinal virus. Holy moly! I do not recommend EVER having this! Stay away from anyone that has it! It literally makes your whole stomach and all of your intestines spasm. Sounds like so much fun huh? Yeah... No.
So after being discharged, Jim got me my meds. Ran and got me gaterade (all I can drink other than water for 24hrs). And then took me home. The fire in the wood stove had gone out and Nic still wasn't home, so Jim stayed to make sure I was ok until he got there. Veronica came in with savannah and ended up leaving with her again. They took her to spend the night at her house to help me.
I know this is long and drawn out, but today showed me how blessed I am. I have some wonderful friends/family who are willing to help me when I need it. And not think less of me for crying and writhing in pain.
Everyone needs to be as blessed as I am. :)

Switzerland!!!!

   Alright! I'm frustrated! I normally try very hard to keep my blog posts and Facebook posts positive. And I've done a good job. But I need to get a few things off my chest!
   I will NO LONGER be posting ANYTHING about ANYONE but me and my little family on my blog or my Facebook. This means ANYTHING. Pictures included. I'm tired of being blamed for things I didn't do, and yelled at for things I did do, but without malice.
   Also, I will no longer be answering questions about other people. If you want to know something about someone, go ask them! Not me. If you have a question about me, Nic or the girls, I'll be happy to talk about them. :) And only them.
   I will also no longer be a part of any one's hate, anger, drama, gossip, pettiness or grudges. Especially not in the middle. I want peace in my life. I NEED peace in my life and the before mentioned things can't abide with peace. If you have something negative to say about someone, go say it somewhere else.
   I no longer hate anyone, and love everyone (some more than others). If you have an issue with someone, it is YOUR issue. No longer mine. I will befriend those people I have ignored in the past for one reason or another. And who I am friends with is MY business. Your problems do not affect me. And your issues with people will not be why I am friend's with someone or not.
   Also, from this point on, unless given permission by me, no one else has permission to post information or pictures of me or my family. Either on their blog OR Facebook. Period. I know who my friends are, but I don't know who yours are. If I see new posts or pictures, I will directly ask you to remove them.
   I have no intention to be mean or upset anyone. I'm just ready for peace. I'm ready for happy. And if people can't bring happy into my life, they wont be in it.
  As of today, I am neutral. I am SWITZERLAND!!!!!!
  

MK Seminar 2011~ Awards Night

Oh my gosh! This was So much more than I could have ever imagined! There was dancing, singing, bands, lights, fire, music and gowns. It was spectacular!! I was like a kid in a candy store with all of my excitement!

Each year, a woman is chosen to receive the honor of "Miss Go Give". This is a woman who gives of herself. Is generous. And exemplifies everything Mary Kay stood for. This year's winner was Palia Curry. I was fortunate enough to spend time with her and get to know her (my Director was her roommate). And I am truly honored to know her. She completely deserved this honor!

Ok this guy was one of our entertainments. His name is Patrick. I don't remember his last name. But he was a contestant on "The Voice". And his mom is an MK consultant. :) But he was fantastic. Lovely to listen to!

Lori in her gown. Isn't she just gorgeous?!

My gown for the night. Love it!

These lights are on the ceiling in the convention center. They were beautiful.

Me and Palia.

Joni, Lori and Me

Me and Terri Cooper. Another wonderful woman that I met.