This post is a little darker than I would like. But I need to get this out. And isn't that what blogs are for?
I'm a little colder than most. I spent my childhood sad and hurt, so in my adult life, I close people and things off so I don't have to feel that way. And as such, there are few people who's opinions matter. Because if you value someone's opinion, they have a little control. They can make you happy, or they can hurt you. So I only value the opinions of people I can whole heartedly trust. So you can imagine my anger and upset at having one of these people hurt me. They gave their opinion and crushed me. They took something that I think is ok, something that I've accepted, something I'm even a little excited about, and made it seem gross and wrong. And it's not.This is a person I've spent my entire life lookng up to. Spent my whole life loving. Someone that I've always wanted to be proud of me. Because I've alays been proud of them. I could barely even speak for fear of crying. I am not a person who cvries. I've always been embarassed by it. Ashamed to cry. But I cried in my car a I drove away. And I cry now as I write this. I don't know what to do with this hurt inside me. My gut reaction is to get angry. But I dont want to. I still love this person. But what do you do when someone who's never hurt you before, hurts you for the first time? Do I pretend like it never happened and move on? ???
You can't pretend it didn't happen. That won't help things. And by all means cry. Any one who thinks less of you is a nobody. No one is perfect, and sometimes that realization can be a slap in the face, or a punch in the gut. You still have many people who love you, probably including that person. We are all here for you. One in particular, who I think should be your first choice of shoulders (probably is). It will be hard but at some point you will need to confront this problem with this person. A single moment of error should not be enough to destroy a lifetime relationship. There is also another person to turn to, one with unending wisdom. He's easy to contact to. Pray. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBertimus
Talk to them. Don't close them out. Ask them if they know they hurt your feelings, and try to explain to them why/how. If you have to start small, like a text or an email, then start there until you feel better able to talk to them in person/over the phone. Don't hold onto the hurt too long, it only builds and they may not even know you're holding onto it.
ReplyDeleteCan I tell you my first thoughts when I read this post... Come here Katelyn and I'll give you a hug ~ and while I'm hugging you you can tell me who hurt you and I'll beat them up! OK, so maybe the first part of my first thought was a good idea, then second part not so much. The other comments are right on ~ don't pretend it didn't happen, no one is perfect, talk to them they may not know they hurt you or how or why it hurt you, and prayer really does soften hearts and bring about miracles. Remember I love you and so do many others.
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